Saying “no” sounds simple in theory. In practice, many of us struggle with it constantly.
We say yes because we don’t want to disappoint someone. Because we’re afraid of seeming rude, difficult, dramatic, inexperienced, unkind, or “not fun.” Because we’ve been taught to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own instincts. Because we feel unsafe saying no, and sometimes, especially as femme-presenting people, it’s not just a feeling, but a genuine lack of safety that keeps us from saying no.
This class explores the emotional, social, and cultural realities that make boundary-setting difficult, especially within dating, nightlife, and community spaces where connection and social harmony can feel deeply important.
Together, we’ll unpack the subtle pressures that shape our decision-making, learn how to slow down urgency and reconnect to our own instincts, and apply practical tools for setting boundaries with more confidence and clarity.
This class will explore topics such as:
Why saying no can feel so difficult, even in “safe” spaces
The role patriarchy and social conditioning play in boundary-setting
Reality-checking fear and assessing context more clearly
Nervous system grounding tools for moments of pressure or uncertainty
Learning to get comfortable with “maybe” instead of automatic yes’s
Trusting your intuition without needing to justify it
Soft boundary phrases that create space, reduce pressure, and are easier to give and to receive
Moving from ambiguity into clear, direct no’s when ready
Practicing boundary-setting in real time through guided exercises
This class is not about becoming cold, confrontational, or hyper-defensive. It’s about building trust with yourself, creating space for your own desires and instincts, and developing the confidence to move through the world with more agency and choice.
This event is for FLINTA* folks only! We offer sliding-scale rates to expand access to those with financial barriers.
This is a hybrid class, offered both in-person in Brooklyn, and online via Zoom!
Who’s teaching?
Tess (she/they) is a community leader and educator exploring human sexuality, relational dynamics, and evolving paradigms of power. Through years of practice and facilitation within alternative sexuality communities—Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+, ENM, and Sex Positive—her work centers how we engage with autonomy, authority, and connection in both intimate relationships and shared spaces.
Tess focuses on practical tools for embodied relating, including flexible communication frameworks, boundary setting, and negotiated structure.
As the Creative Director and Co-Founder of Gloss Group, Tess cultivates spaces where curiosity, accountability, and mutual care can coexist, approaching power as a living practice shaped through awareness, choice, and relationship.