What does it really mean to be a switch?
For many people, switching is described simply as enjoying “both sides of the slash.” Switches are often people who enjoy sometimes being Dominant, other times being submissive, or even enjoying embodying both D– and s–type energy simultaneously in a group scene. But what if that only scratches the surface?
Why do some dynamics feel effortless with one person and impossible with another? We may find ourselves craving authority in one relationship and surrender in another. This experience can create confusion and complexity, leading switchy people to question whether they know themselves; whether they are just indecisive, inconsistent, or not “truly” Dominant nor submissive. But this urge to “pick a side” is evidence that “D/s as a fixed identity” doesn’t capture the complexity of authentic Power Exchange Dynamics—because power isn’t something we create alone; it emerges between people.
In this class, Tess establishes a framework for distinguishing between switching and versatility; two terms that are often used interchangeably but describe different experiences. Throughout this class, we’ll explore switching as the capacity to authentically inhabit both Dominant and submissive roles within different relational contexts, rather than simply enjoying a variety of BDSM activities.
We’ll examine the difference between performing roles we think we should occupy, and discovering the dynamics that naturally arise through attraction, trust, communication, and shared experience.
Together, we’ll explore:
Why language matters, and how differing definitions shape the conversations we have about BDSM
The difference between identity, behavior, desire, and dynamic
Relational archetypes, how power emerges, & why different people call forth different parts of ourselves
Performing a role vs. discovering an authentic dynamic
Common misconceptions about switching
How D/s dynamics can evolve as we (and our relationships) grow
Our patterns of attraction, power, and relational chemistry
Whether you identify as a switch, a Dominant, a submissive, or you’re simply curious about the nature of power exchange, this class invites you to think beyond fixed identities and toward a more relational understanding of D/s.
Rather than asking, “Am I a Dominant, a submissive, or a switch?” this class invites a different question:
“Who do we become together?”
This event is open to anyone! The class will run from 7–9 pm, with an optional decompression hour & mixer from 9–10 pm. We offer sliding-scale rates to expand access to those with financial barriers.
Who’s teaching?
Tess (she/they) is a community leader and educator exploring human sexuality, relational dynamics, and evolving paradigms of power. Through years of practice and facilitation within alternative sexuality communities—Kink, BDSM, LGBTQ+, ENM, and Sex Positive—her work centers how we engage with autonomy, authority, and connection in both intimate relationships and shared spaces. Tess focuses on practical tools for embodied relating, including flexible communication frameworks, boundary setting, and negotiated structure. As the Creative Director and Co-Founder of Gloss Group, Tess cultivates spaces where curiosity, accountability, and mutual care can coexist, approaching power as a living practice shaped through awareness, choice, and relationship.